The Parent’s Heart
From the moment your first child was born, you could see that parenting would be difficult. A one-size-fits-all mentality will not work. Parenting is not a cookie-cutter plan that says, "Do this, and you will achieve this result." Parenting is about understanding God’s plan for the lives of our children and watching them walk in that calling. That takes patience, prayer, and being in alignment with what God’s Word says about our children. You cannot make parenting about your truth, but about bringing your child(ren) up in the Truth.
“And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:5-7
These verses provide us with the closest thing to a template for raising children. The debate continues over whether this is the most challenging time ever to raise children. While that debate may be valid, it is essential for us, as parents, to understand that we are raising our children for such a time as this. Notice how the first instruction on parenting focuses on the parents, not the children. Parenting begins with a heart examination of mom and dad before it can be transferred to the child. You cannot train anyone in something you do not own yourself. You cannot hold someone accountable for something you are not willing to follow yourself. You cannot raise a child biblically if you are not living biblically. These words may be challenging, but they are true. The first command God gave His children regarding raising children is, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart." The purity of the parent's heart is the first place to look. It begins with mom and dad.
If the instructions for parenting begin with mom and dad, what do mom and dad need to have in place first to be successful in raising children? Parents must first look inside themselves at what they believe about themselves and what God says about them. We are raising a generation that does not seem to understand truth or what God created them to be. We have sold a generation the lie that they can be anything they want to be. We have supported the idea that truth is relative rather than absolute, causing the hearts, minds, and souls of children to be swayed by public opinion and what feels good. This is a direct result of a generation of parents longing for something they never were and never can become. Our children reflect us, the parents. They become not only what they are told but, more importantly, what they see. A generation of parents is chasing a dream that is opposed to biblical truth.
Parents must first examine their own heart, soul, and mind before they can raise a heart, soul, and mind that loves Jesus. I have heard parents say, “I cannot believe they made that decision.” How does a child arrive at making a decision that is in opposition to biblical truth? Cain killed Abel because he was jealous of the sacrifice Abel brought to God. Genesis 4 gives us insight we may not have fully examined.
“And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.” Genesis 4:1-7
When God told Cain that “sin lieth at the door,” I believe He was speaking not only of the door of Cain’s heart but of his upbringing, his home. Yes, Cain made the conscious decision to act out against Abel, but this action was passed on to him by his parents. His parents dealt with selfishness and pride, which ultimately changed the course of history. While Adam and Eve made a sacrifice in Genesis 3:21 to cover both their spiritual and physical sins, they remained sinful in nature. 1 John 3:12 tells us that Cain was eternally stuck in a fallen state. Immediately following Cain’s birth, Eve declared that she had gotten a man from the Lord, a man she believed would be the savior of all mankind (Genesis 3:14-16, Genesis 4:1). From his birth, Eve saw Cain as more than what God created him to be. Cain, from the beginning, was raised to be more than God created him to be. Cain’s downfall started in the heart of Eve. While we do not get an inside look into how Cain was raised, we do know from Scripture that selfishness and pride were both Eve’s and Cain’s greatest struggles.
Raising children God’s way begins with the self-examination of parents. Self-examination allows us to combat the spiritual deception that controls our hearts, souls, and minds. Scripture tells us to confess our sins to God. If we cannot find any sin to confess, then “we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). It is dangerous to lie to ourselves and, in turn, lie to our children, whether directly or inadvertently. 2 Corinthians 13:5 instructs us to examine ourselves to see if we are truly abiding in Christ. One of Satan’s favorite traps is to whisper false assurance. Without Spirit-directed self-examination, the enemy’s lies are too pleasant and believable to challenge on our own. Parenting must begin with a deep, inward search of the heart. Children are a gift from God. They do not belong to us; they belong to God. We are to be stewards of the children God has given us. Most parents believe that their children belong to them, but our children belong to the One who created them before the beginning of time.
“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
Once we, as parents, come to the realization that our children belong to God long before He entrusted them to us, we begin to understand that the stewardship of them, the raising of them, is a God-given responsibility. This transforms how we view our parenting strategies and the desired outcomes for our children. Raising children begins with the self-examination of the parent’s heart.
Mr. Euler has over 20 years of experience working in Christian Schools, 13 as a Head of School and is currently the Head of School at Word of God Academy, Shreveport, LA., a ministry of Word of God Ministries.
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