Every parent knows the power of friendships in shaping a child’s life. The people our children spend the most time with are often the ones who influence their decision-making and their values. Friendships are never neutral; they either move us closer to Christ or further away from Him. This is why discipleship must include intentionally guiding children toward godly friendships that nurture their spiritual growth.
The Biblical Weight of Friendships
Scripture consistently points to the importance of choosing the right companions.
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Proverbs 13:20
The friends our children walk with will either reinforce wisdom or lead them into destruction. The Apostle Paul echoed this truth when he warned in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
From the Garden of Eden to the early church, we see how relationships influence obedience and discipleship. Friendships are not merely social connections; they are spiritual investments that shape a child’s worldview and character.
Parents Who Guide Friendships
Parents cannot afford to be passive about their child’s friendships. All areas of a child’s life must be aligned with truth from God—including their relationships. This does not mean controlling every choice, but creating an environment where biblical wisdom guides decision-making.
Practical steps include:
● Modeling Friendship – Parents should model what godly, supportive, Christ-centered friendships look like in their own lives.
● Teaching Discernment – Encourage children to evaluate friendships by asking: Does this friend help me follow Christ?
● Facilitating Godly Connections – Be intentional about environments where children build friendships: church gatherings, Christian activities, and family-centered communities.
What the Research Says
Modern research reinforces biblical truth: peers strongly influence the moral and spiritual outcomes of youth. Studies by the Barna Group show that friendships often shape a teen’s views on morality, identity, and faith more than formal instruction. Teens who are surrounded by godly peers are far more likely to remain committed to their faith as they enter adulthood.
Worship Pastor Jeremiah Woods states, “Life moves at the speed of relationships.”
In other words, the “village” that supports discipleship is not only made up of parents, teachers, and mentors, but also of peers who are walking the same path of faith.
Building Friendships That Last
The discipleship village we create for our children must include peers who reinforce biblical truth. The early church offers a model of this: believers not only learned from the apostles but also from each other through fellowship, prayer, and mutual encouragement (Acts 2:42). We were created for relationship—and relationships matter.
Helping children form Christ-centered friendships means prioritizing environments where truth is upheld and relationships are built around God’s Word. This may require limiting time in settings where peer influence is contrary to biblical values and investing in spaces where discipleship flourishes. It may also include limiting access to certain influences and, even as parents, telling children, “That is not a friend we approve of.”
A Call to Parents and Leaders
If we desire our children to stand strong in a culture that pulls them away from truth, we must help them cultivate friendships that anchor them in Christ.
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10