If we want children who understand honor, we must first build homes that model honor. Children learn far more from what we demonstrate than from what we demand. We can tell our children to respect teachers, pastors, coaches, and authority figures, but if they continually hear us criticizing those same people, our actions will eventually speak louder than our instructions. That is why a system of honor must begin at home.
Deuteronomy 6 places the primary responsibility for spiritual formation on parents. The command is beautifully practical:
“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (Deuteronomy 6:7)
Discipleship is not merely a Sunday activity. It happens around the dinner table. It happens driving to school. It happens after the ballgame. It happens when disappointment comes. It happens when correction is necessary. And it especially happens when our children see us respond to authority.
Consider a simple scenario. Your child comes home upset about something a teacher did.
There may be a legitimate concern. Teachers make mistakes. Administrators make mistakes. Coaches make mistakes. The issue isn't whether concerns should be addressed. They should. The question is how we address them. There is a tremendous difference between saying:
“Your teacher is ridiculous. I don't know what they were thinking.”
and saying:
“I understand why you're frustrated. Let's make sure we understand what happened, and then we'll talk with your teacher.”
The second response does not ignore the child. It teaches something greater. We can pursue truth while maintaining honor. Honor is not a blind agreement. This distinction is essential. Honor does not mean never questioning a decision. Honor does not mean tolerating wrongdoing. Honor does not mean parents surrender their God-given responsibility. Biblical honor is about how we handle disagreement. Matthew 18 provides a principle that should transform Christian communities: go to the person involved.
Instead of immediately gathering supporters for our position, posting online, texting other parents, or discussing the issue with people who cannot resolve it, we should teach our children the biblical discipline of direct communication. What would happen if our children watched Christian adults disagree biblically? They would discover that disagreement doesn't require dishonor.
It is extremely important that parents know who is influencing their children. That includes friendships, entertainment, social media, teachers, coaches, pastors, and mentors. But once parents prayerfully choose a church and Christian school, they should recognize the tremendous opportunity created when those institutions reinforce the biblical values being taught at home. Rather than viewing teachers and pastors suspiciously, begin by viewing them as partners. Pray for them. Encourage them. Speak well of them. Communicate with them. And when disagreement occurs, go directly to them. Hebrews 13:17 reminds believers of the weight carried by spiritual leadership because leaders “watch for your souls.” Similarly, Christian educators carry an enormous responsibility as they help shape the minds and hearts of students every day. Those responsibilities deserve prayer.
There is another reason this matters. If we teach our children that authority can be dismissed whenever it disappoints them, eventually we will become the authority they disagree with. A teenager who has repeatedly watched Mom and Dad dishonor authority may eventually use the same reasoning against Mom and Dad.
“I don't agree with you.”
“I don't like your rule.”
“You don't understand.”
Therefore:
“I don't have to honor you.”
We cannot sow dishonor and expect to reap honor.
Ephesians 6:2 says:
“Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.”
Honor is woven throughout Scripture because honor recognizes God's established order.
Imagine homes where children regularly hear:
“Let's pray for your teacher.”
“Let's pray for your pastor.”
“Let's find out the whole story.”
“Let's give them the benefit of the doubt.”
“Let's talk directly to the person involved.”
“We can disagree without being disrespectful.”
“What does God's Word say about this?”
Those phrases are doing more than solving today's problem. They are developing tomorrow's Christian leader.
Our children need advocates. They need parents willing to protect them. But they also need parents committed to discipling them. Sometimes the greatest discipleship opportunity comes not from removing every difficulty but from teaching our children how believers respond to difficulty. With truth. With courage. With grace. And with honor.
Strong homes build strong churches.
Strong homes strengthen Christian schools.
And homes committed to biblical honor help raise children prepared to honor Christ.
About Mr. Euler
Mr. Euler has 27 years’ experience working in Christian Schools, 17 as a Head of School and is currently the Head of School at Word of God Academy, Shreveport, LA., a ministry of Word of God Ministries.
Website www.wogacademy.org
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